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Just google it

Linux Hater's Blog - Mon, 23/06/2008 - 3:02am
Props to a bunch of you commenters on my last post. You proved to me that most of you still have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. Maybe all your brains cells are dedicated towards remembering those configuration commands for your favorite distro. Beacause if you actually had any left over, you'd realize that the post had nothing to do with the difficulty of installing a compiler on Linux.

Maybe you guys just don't understand English? That's cool. I mean y'all could be Austrian or something. But I'll just point out that clueless counter-ranting against a post that wasn't even a rant makes you look like quite the ass clowns. I just hope the rest of the readers enjoy it.

Anyways, I just wanted to make another observation. Whenever I write about how someone might say, "I don't know how to do X with Linux", y'all like to reply with, "Oh, if you just google for XYZ, then you'd see that it's possible, asswipe. You're so uninformed!"

It's clear that y'all haven't a raging clue why I'd even bother writing something like that. You don't think I've done this google shit? You don't think I've wasted hours and hours in the past refining my google-fu so that I can maybe chance upon the blog post that will make my Linux install not suck? I don't mention this shit because I personally can't figure it out. I write it because y'all don't realize that if it takes me this long to do anything, then the rest of the world will find it simply unacceptable. Actually, if you look around, you'll find that they've already done that. They've totally mod'ed you down with their dollars and euros.

Just because some douchebag might have written a blog post about how to do something (which most of the time should have just been obvious in the first place), doesn't mean that Linux is now on-par support-wise with the other alternatives. It's not even close.

Y'all seem to not realize that most people don't google for answers to computer issues in the first place. To these people, it either works or it doesn't. If nothing happens when they plug their camera into their computer, they assume their computer just doesn't work with their camera. Or they call up their lame-ass grandson who installed some weird thing called youbuntube on their computer. They don't give a flying fuck if some forum user gph0t04ever on has a 10-step procedure that will make it work.

Besides, to actually use google effectively, you already have to 1) kinda know what you're talking about, 2) know what keywords to use, and 3) know how to use the results to fix your problem. When's the last time that someone typed "my screen looks big" into google, and got to your newbie-proof instructions of how to replace the "nv" in your xorg.conf with "nvidia"? Oh, that's right. Never.

Why do you think Apple gets so much praise for staffing Genius Bars with slightly less clueless support staff? When things go wrong, people want others to fix it for them and save them time. Yes, I know, most of the people who staff Genius bars are retards too. But they're paid retards. They get paid to fix shit so that neither me, nor my grandma have to.

But whatever. I'm sure you guys are going to totally miss the point and say that because I don't know about Google Linux search, I'm a newb dumbass. Or that because I mentioned Apple, I must be a Mac zealot having sex with slot-loading DVD drives every night. Bring it on, lusers.